SOULMATE SEARCHING

I'm mostly using this blog as an outlet for my feelings and observations about my life. I don't update regularly, but only when something of interest happens in my life.

Friday, December 22, 2006

gay-dar

Ok, I think my 'gay-dar' is broken. I saw him last night, he was sitting at the bar, alone(guess that should have been my first clue), he was so cute, (i swear he looked like this) I stared at him all night, he only talked to Kathy, the bartender, and he was drinking bud bottles, went to the bathroom twice. So anyway, I'm drunk and keep getting handed more drinks, and I'm up on the floor dancing with my chica's, trying to get D to go flirt with him to see which of us could take him home. She wouldn't go, then He left! I gave it up as a wasted chance and went back to drinking and dancing, then I turn around and he is staning at the bar again. ok, not wanting to pass up a second chance from the gods, I tell M about this guy, she balls up and goes and talks to him. At this point I just want to dissapear into the smoke and music, I'm very shy. Then M comes back and tells me no deal! OMG! I got turned down from a straight boy from Cali! What the Hell? there are straight boys in Cali? He didn't come off as rude or anything, but what the fuck is wrong with my gay-dar? I think its broken. where does one get that fixed?

Labels: ,

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

stuff

So, in the last 48 hours I've managed to gain a roommate for next year, find a decent looking guy 3 hours away, and pack my time off with lots of stuff to be done. I'm heading to my parents house this weekend, but before that I have to go shopping with Melissa, babysit, wrap presents, go to a Christmas program, work an evening shift, and work my day job. This doesn't sound like it leaves much time for sleep.
anyways, the roommate just turned 18 on monday, is a highschool wrestler, plays guitar in the jazz band, is 6'+, and pretty cute. Only prob is he's dating my best friends little sister. his parents have never met me and already don't like me, so we'll just have to wait and see how long this lasts. its just till the end of the summer, but we'll see if he can make it that long. lol.
the guy i met on line lives in louisburg, which is 3 hours east of here. i don't think either of us will be making that trip anytime soon. maybe if i were going to KC to see TJ I would make the trip but...that seems like an awfully far way to go for sex.
i got pretty much all my christmas shopping done, theres a few things i'm going to pick up for Melissa tonight, but my list is complete. hopefully i didn't forget anyone important. lol
i remember dreaming last night, but i can't remember the dream. must not have been very important or entertaining.
I bought myself Super Mario Advance last week, for my GB Advance. it's fun, but it's still difficult. i would rather be at home playing games than here at work. not that i'm doing much here, i have a shit ton of work to do in the next 7 work days, but I'm really not the mood.
anywho.

~so what are the odds that two of the hottest guys in town would both walk into my office at the same time? Talk about overload! How am I supposed to handle this? OMFG! So Hottt!

Labels: ,

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

100 things about me

1) I was born in Garden City, Kansas and spent my entire childhood in Holcomb, Kansas.

2) I am a Gemini. Born in the year of the Monkey.

3) I have 3 younger brothers. A Cancer, a Leo and a Capricorn.

4) I am 6 years older than my youngest brother.

5) My paternal grandparents were Elmer and Wanda Smith. Both have passed.

6) My maternal grandparents are John and Pat Baier. Both are still here.

7) I share my middle name with my Dad. I'm the only one named after my Dad.

8) I do not eat fish, not beacuse I don't like it, I just don't eat it.

9) I am allergic to all forms of nut, but it's nothing lethal.

10) I drink coffee every morning and throughout the day.

11) I only remember probably one dream a week. Usually only the juicy one.

12) I revisit dreams quite often. Usually a continuation of the previous.

13) I purposely fall in love to get hurt. So I can feel that feeling in my chest.

14) I have a crush on Jared Padaleki in Supernatural.

15) I prefer to drink Budweiser from bottles.

16) I'm more worried about other drivers causing an accident than about me causing one.

17) I can't most stand Classic Rock. It gives me headaches.

18) I have lived with 5 different people, two male and three female.

19) I prefer to live alone.

20) I was a sophomore in college before I experienced sex.

21) I have never been with a woman.

22) I never see my best friend from college and she lives less than 10 miles away.

23) I see her husband more often.

24) I love my God-daughter like she was my own child. She's bound to think I'm her father, and she comes to me over her Dad.

25) I collect Gargoyle figures and am fascinated by dragons and other mythological creatures.

26) I get more out of Fantasy novels than I do Historical novels.

27) I love to play video games, but I hate to lose.

28) I have more Pokemon games than anyone my age I know.

29) I'm a cheap drunk, and I would go home with the first cute guy that asked.

30) I'm not picky when I've been drinking.

31) I've never gone home with anyone from a bar. Except my best friend, who drove.

32) I don't know what it feels like to be my age. I still think I'm a teenager.

33) I'm 26 and a half.

34) I have a Major in English, a Minor in Psycology, and I my job is not related to either.

35) I hate Math and History.

36) I do like to watch the History channel, though.

37) I believe cell phones are the worst thing to happen to our world since the Holocaust.

38) My biggest pet peeve is people who order at a drive thru while on their cell phones. It's just fucking rude.

39) My favorite singer is Kenny Chesney. He's the most gorgeous man his age.

40) I really don't like the word gorgeous.

41) I really believe I was born a millenium too soon. I hate money, politics, and less than adaquate technology.

42) I'm partially OCD. Everything has it's place and it's there for a reason.

43) I clean my best friends house more than I clean my own.

44) I love animals, but don't keep a pet. Pets are a responsibility.

45) I purchase a new toothbrush less than once a year.

46) I brush my teeth and shower daily.

47) I can't keep a male best friend. In fact, I haven't had one since Junior High.

48) I have always had a female best friend. Just not the same one.

49) I hate the open door policy. It's my office and no one respects that.

50) I haven't seen my bicycle in five years.

51) One of my fetishes is guys in white socks.

52) I hate wearing sandals or anything that shows my feet. But I'm not embarrassed by my feet. I can't stand flip flops.

53) I tried wearing black socks, but I can't stand them. I will only wear white sport socks.

54) I love wearing another guys shoes. Especially if they are larger than my own.

55) I like the smell of mechanics. Grease and Solvent are two of my favorite scents.

56) I tend to fall for younger guys. I find older guys attracive but unapproachable.

57) I try to make my bed most mornings, but it's not a major part of my day.

58) I quit wearing a watch when I was fired from my previous job. Now I feel free.

59) I own 3 watches and have clocks in about every room of my house.

60) I have drawers of clothes that I never wear and more in boxes in the storage room.

61) I intend to give them to Goodwill, but never seem to make it there.

62) I tend to live vicariously through others.

63) I have been to more foriegn countries than I have US states.

64) I prefer pen to pencil in most cases, and even then it has to be the exta fine point.

65) I'm a talented mulit-tasker, and am usually doing more than two things at once.

66) I still use the word ain't, even after my fifth grade teacher tried to break us all of using it.

67) I smoke. It's not that I'm addicted, I already quit once for a year. I want to.

68) I eat what I want. I'm not on a diet or ever plan to be. Why put myself through that?

69) My favorite food is Steak-medium rare- and potatoes, mashed or otherwise.

70) I tend to make myself sick from stress and worry. Kinda like a panick attack.

71) I think too much about the future. It scares me to think I might be old and lonely.

72) I'm not afriad of falling, it's the sudden stop at the bottom that scares me.

73) Even creepy crawlies don't scare me, I just don't like them.

74) I love my personal space and ask that people respect it, if I allow you in...feel special.

75) I dislike being touched. There are few people that I actually don't mind touching me. Everyone else I tolerate so not to be rude.

76) I get emmbarrased for effimenate guys.

77) I love my family but I won't tell them the truth about myself.

78) I like tape. Scotch tape is my favorite.

79) I like being myself, but sometimes I don't like being me.

80) I always have a crush at work. I know it's not going anywhere, but I still fall for someone at work.

81) Most people just piss me off. Even if they don't know it.

82) I really want the delivery guy. (sorry, he distracted me) lol!

83) I am infatuated with astronomy. The mysteries of the Universe are quite intriuging.

84) I moved to McPherson, KS in '98 for college and have never left.

85) I eat Pop-Tarts for breakfast almost every day.

86) I really believe that the eyes are the window to the soul. You can learn a lot about a person just by looking into their eyes.

87) There are at least 2 songs that can make me cry. One is "Have you ever" by Brandy, and the second is "Tell me I was dreaming" by Travis Tritt. "My little girl" by Tim McGraw is workig it's way onto this list.

88) Dopey is my favorite Dwarf.

91) I have on DVD: Thundercats, Dinosaurs, Fraggle Rock, and Care Bears, I'm waiting for: Smurfs, and all the other classic cartoons.

92) I don't like most of todays cartoons, but I do like some of the childrens programming, like: Phil of the Future, Life with Derek, The Suite life of Zack and Cody, and That's so Raven.

93) I love foreign languages, but I don't want to learn them.

94) I am calmed by looking into flame, but I don't do it very often thanks to movies.

95) I think television killed intelligence, and the Internet is not helping.

96) Real stupidity irks me to no end, but I find dumbass kinda cute.

97) I want to be with someone that completes me, compliments my soul, and I'm not emmbarrased to be with.

98) I am interested in all sorts of different things, I want to meet someone with the same interests, who can hold an intelligent conversation without me having to explain every other concept or theory or word.

99) I've noticed that I have a tendency to fall for "off-limits" guys. Underage, married, not interested, not staying around. I think its an excuse not to get emotionally envolved.

100) I need someone to stand up and say that they won't be chased off, and are not going away. A little effort might go a long way.



~ok, after doing this list I think it is a good way to take a step back and look at yourself. (You can learn alot from a dummy, and even more from yourself.)

Labels:

Monday, December 11, 2006

All I want for Christmas...

...is someone to spend NewYears Eve with,
and Gareth to ask me out,
and to win the lottery,
and to move to somewhere tropical.
Yeah, thats pretty much it.

Anyways, I wish my life was a bit more interesting, My life is so Vanilla, it's not even considered Vanilla anymore. lol.
There are so many people out there living it up and having interesting lives and, i wish the midwest was not quite so lame. I really don't want to move to either coast, especially just to have an exciting life. Even my blogs are boring. I don't have any sex-capaides to relate, no family problems to complain about, no school to cuss. Everything here is just pretty bland and boring.

Labels:

Monday, December 04, 2006

BAR-TENDER

Ok, I don't believe that I've ever dreamed of being at the bar before, but last night I did. My regular bar hired a new bar-tender, and GOD is he hot! I feel inclined to go out just to look at him all night. So, back to my dream, it wasn't sexual or anything, I was at the bar, sitting in the booth with a couple of my friends, when they mention how cute Gareth is. I look up to the bar and see him making drinks, and all I can do is agree with the girls. ohh I wish you all could see this perfect specimen of man. He only has one flaw, I'm pretty sure he's straight and would never be interested in me in any way. I hate that. However, if I keep dreaming about him I don't think I'll mind so much.

Labels: